It disturbs me that my first thought, and I think this is a common trait, when we feel offended is to seek justification. Is there some sort of primal connection to our survival instinct that makes us seek retaliation as a first resort? Or, is it simply hubris – does our pride force us to seek out some action that will restore us to a state of perceived equality? But, then, what is the origin of that pride, after all? Perhaps pride is simply a word defined by our fear of being less able to compete – back to survival. In the end, this is the hardest emotion to overcome in a mediation. It takes a lot to move some one past their need for justification and saving face. But, once people can leave that behind, or at least set it aside, moving toward identifying the needs and interests of the parties and then brainstorming conditions that can meet those needs, gets everyone’s energy moving in the right direction.
Pride goeth before an agreement
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